Kampala’s streets have turned into a time‑traveling rave, and the only thing louder than the bass is the collective sigh of millennials who just wanted a quiet coffee shop. From vinyl‑only pop‑up stalls to break‑dance battles on the corner of Ggaba Road, the city is officially stuck in a glorious 90s loop. Even the traffic lights are flashing neon pink, and the mayor was spotted in a windbreaker shouting, “If you can’t handle the retro, get out!” Residents are now petitioning for a ban on all things modern—because who needs Wi‑Fi when you have a cassette player?
You do it, we report it.